


Dear Sir

by Fyre



Category: Agent Carter (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2015-02-11
Packaged: 2018-03-11 22:26:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3335027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fyre/pseuds/Fyre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, when he is very frustrated, Jarvis writes notes that he wishes he could give to Howard Stark</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Sir

Dear Sir,

I really must protest your treatment of Miss Rogers. I feel it was callous and outright rude to expel her the way you did. I vow the woman will be coming after me with a knife forthwith. Please take my safety into consideration next time.

Yours Sincerely,  
E. Jarvis.

 

___________________________________________________

 

Dear Sir,

How in God's name did you manage to complete your academic studies? I can scarcely comprehend, as I can only assume you spent half the time with your trousers down.

Yours Sincerely,  
E. Jarvis

 

___________________________________________

 

Dear Sir,

If I am asked to provide your parting gift to another indignant woman, I fear you will be retrieving it from a rather sensitive area of my anatomy. Quite possibly with the assistance of a proctologist. Miss Macauley was most explicit in terms, and I believe she could achieve it, given her choice of tools.

Yours Sincerely,  
E. Jarvis

 

____________________________________________________

 

Dear Sir,

No, Miss Weston did not take it well. I have enclosed a receipt for the prime steak required for my eye.

Yours Sincerely,  
E. Jarvis

 

____________________________________________________

 

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed two packs of raspberry truffles as compensation for the fact you had to give your latest flame the bad news yourself. I am naturally devastated I could not be there.

Yours Sincerely,  
E. Jarvis

 

____________________________________________________

 

Dear Sir,

If you ever feel the need to experience what it feels like to be kicked in the gentleman's priority by an angry woman in heels, I am delighted to inform you that Anna would be more than happy to oblige. In fact, she is quite insisting upon it.

Yours Sincerely,  
E. Jarvis

 

__________________________________________

 

Dear Sir,

I know I owe you a great deal, but sometimes I wonder if my life is really worth my dignity.

Yours Sincerely,  
E. Jarvis

 

__________________________________________

 

Dear Sir,

We've had a call from a young lady with some rather surprising news. Congratulations, sir, it's a girl. This is not the surprise. The surprise is that it took this long for it to happen.

Yours Sincerely,  
E. Jarvis

 

__________________________________________

 

Dear Sir,

I resign.

Yours Sincerely,  
E. Jarvis


End file.
